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"I can't sleep yet, I still have work to do..."

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Private Meeting Logs

Images Of Memory I

Lotta

C-Commander, you came so soon… I, I haven’t finished editing the movie yet…

The original plan was to start editing once I bought the software, but figuring out how to use it was a little tricky.

It took me a long time to figure it out… Uuuu, my execution just isn’t keeping up with my plan.

And here I’d planned to watch a movie with you today, but I messed up again in the end…

Commander

There, there, Lotta. Don’t feel sad. Mismatches like this are commonplace. Sometimes the plan is perfect, but variables come up when you try to put it into practice.

Therefore, you should factor in some overhead time to deal with unexpected complications.

Lotta

I understand what you’re talking about. I guess I didn’t manage to estimate the time well because I don’t have any experience with this…

Am I really useless? Do I even deserve to stay by your side, Commander?

Commander

Not at all. You should look at it this way–now you know how to use this software and won’t have to waste time on learning it.

And as time passes, you’ll learn how to do more and more things. Your accumulated experiences will equip you with the ability to handle other tasks, making you more and more capable. Isn’t that a good thing?

Also, I feel that films that are in production and not in their final, completed form are also worthy of enjoyment.

Lotta
Commander… Is this really okay? Is it okay to spoil someone like me… hehehe…

Commander

Lotta, you’re a smart girl and you’re learning and working hard on top of that. Seeing you grow makes me very happy.

So, how’s the editing going?

Lotta

I’ve finished the rough cut, I’m just fine-tuning things now. As for the contents… There’s no problem if you’d like to see them…

It’s just that they might not be good enough…

Commander

Perfect is the enemy of good, and seeing something that’s work in progress can be fun too.

I’ll try my best to enjoy it and give you useful suggestions. Is that alright, Lotta?

That is, if you don’t find my commentary annoying.

Lotta

Nonono, how could I do that? All your suggestions are incredibly valuable, I’ve made sure to thoroughly memorize them.

And besides, I’m very happy that you’re willing to take time out of your busy schedule to keep me company…

And you’re even willing to put your effort into helping me get better. I don’t think I can ever make that up to you.

Commander
You do realize that even I’m going to blush if you keep praising me like that, right?

Lotta
You, blush, Commander?

(lotta stands on her tiptoes and leans in to inspect me with her violet eyes. I feel my cheeks heat up under her gaze.)

Commander
...

Lotta

...

Wow, you’re really blushing… That’s amazing…

Common…der? When I see myself in your eyes… Why do I look like I’m blushing too…?

Commander
Well, let’s take a look at your movie.

Images Of Memory II

Lotta

In that case, l-lets begin the private screening for you and me, Commander.

This part of the movie shows my memories of being with you… It shows just how much I li-l-li…

Commander
They’re all very precious to you, aren’t they, Lotta? You once told me that you made a record like this when you were getting to know all your friends in the Doll Community.

Lotta

That’s because memories need to be carefully recorded and preserved.

While Dolls can perfectly record the data of everything that’s happened to them, these records will be lost if an accident happens or if their frames are damaged.

I do end up in combat too, after all.

So offline paper notes, tape archives, sealed hard disks, all of them are more reliable than network-only data logs.

Littara feels the same way as me, but she chose to do it with pen and paper, while I chose film…

Commander
Why didn’t you choose Littara’s way? Surely it would be more secure if you stored the physical records properly.

Lotta

I did consider that…

And at first, I tried doing what Littara did and kept written records for a while. But after that, I discovered that pen and paper weren’t enough to record what I wanted to preserve.

I wanted to preserve more and more of my moments with you and my friends, and preserve them better.

Movies would help me hear your voice, see your face, observe each and every movement you make…

So even if paper records are more secure, I still prefer to use film to preserve my memories.

And I want to record… everything about you, Commander…

(Lotta’s face has turned almost completely red at this point and she’s so tense that she’s mashing her fingers together. I reach out and pat her head.)

Commander
I know that.

Lotta
C-Commander, shall, shall we watch the movie?

Lotta
Sure.

(After hearing me reply in the affirmative, Lotta immediately saves and backs up her work before hitting the play button.)

(As I watch the scenes on the screen, I can feel a nervous gaze burning a hole in me.)

Commander
Lotta?

Lotta

Ahhhhhh I-I-I’m fine! Commander, do you need commentary from me?

But if you think I talk too much, I can shut up…

Commander
I’ve never felt that you talked too much, Lotta. Rather, I think you’re too quiet at times, which worries me.

Lotta

I, I see…

I-I’ll do my best to be braver next time!

But if I get too brave, doesn’t that mean you won’t worry about me? I feel a little like I’m losing out…

Images Of Memory III

Lotta

These are the memories the first battle I fought by your side, Commander…

There were tons of enemies on the other side. When we headed out, everyone was confident, but I was a little afraid I couldn’t carry out your commands properly…

Commander
I can tell. Your face is practically screaming “I don’t want to go.”

Lotta

It’s not that I didn’t want to go… It’s just that I was worried I’d mess it up.

Being able to fight under your command is a precious experience, and I have no reason not to enjoy it…

You can see that in the movie…

Back then, you took one look at me and realized I wasn't in a good palace mentally. After that, you told me in a totally cool voice, “Lotta, you’ve trained hard. I believe you’ll do well in this battle.”

Your words immediately restored my confidence and I didn’t hesitate any longer.

Commander
...Did I actually say that?

Lotta

Commander, did you forget?

I, I’m sorry, I guess it probably wasn’t even worth remembering for you… I didn’t think of that.

I mean, you must have been in many battles over the years, so cheering people up was probably second nature for you…

I should have put a more interesting clip in there…

Commander
No, no, of course I remember what I told you. However… it seems a little different from what I remember.

Lotta
Hm? What… exactly did you remember, Commander?

Commander

That you were very cute.

So I decided to show off a little to cheer you up. I thought that was the end of it.

Lotta
Y-you, did you say I was c-cute?!

Commander

I mean, you’re not the only one who gets nervous. I get nervous too. Look at your video; my face is smiling but my eyes aren’t, right?

Actually, I was doing my best to put on a brave front, because you were very cute and I had to maintain my dignity in front of you.

Lotta
Is, is that true, Commander?!

Commander

Of course it is. Still, I wouldn’t have remembered that if I hadn’t seen your video. I guess you’re right, Lotta; I could only recall how I felt back then by watching the video you saved.

When you told me that you wanted to preserve your precious memories, I thought it was a great idea.

The fact that you chose to record and archive your footage like this proves how mature you are.

However, I’m not as cool as you think, Lotta…

Lotta

Of course you are!

I truly mean that, from the bottom of my heart… You were super cool when you cheered us up before that battle. The way you planned our strategy was super cool. And the way you patiently resolved all my doubts was also super cool.

It’s okay even if you say you were nervous back then, because the way you looked so kindly at me when I was about to freak out was…

(Whimper) It was sososo so cool!

Uwawa, why did I say so much…

It, it’s all your fault, Commander! Nobody’s allowed to say you’re not cool, not even yourself!

Commander
Uh… yes, um, please calm down, I shouldn’t have teased you.

Lotta
You were teasing me just now, Commander?

Commander
Well, you were very cute and dorky and serious all at once just now, Lotta.

Lotta

Th-thank you, Commander… ahhh, Commander called me cute again, ehehe…

You really are super cool, Commander…

Commander
Maybe I messed up by teasing you… In any case, you’re welcome, Lotta

Images Of Memory IV

Lotta

Commander, this is when you helped analyze and give advice about those times when I had clashes with my friends in the Doll Community.

Back then, you said that while people who were concerned about their friends were rare, I also needed to pay attention to how I expressed it. You said I ought to put myself in the other person’s shoes. Specifically, I should think about whether the help I gave would be acceptable given their personality, and whether the spirit in which it was given might be misunderstood.

So I should put all that together and think about it before helping others.

It seemed to make a lot of sense to me, and I thought back on it many times…

After that, I tried talking to Balthilde using your suggestions, and my relationship with her got better…

Commander
I’m glad I could help you. Judging by this clip, do you record everyday conversation between us?

Lotta

Ahhh, I, I, er…

…I didn’t, I didn’t want…

(Lotta’s voice trails off and becomes unintelligible.)

Commander
Lotta?

Lotta

...I didn’t want to miss a single thing you said to me, Commander…

That must be really weird, right…?

I recorded all the things we say to each other, but I never considered how you might feel about it…

I’d vaguely thought about that possibility…

The possibility that you might not want to be recorded, that you might want to keep our words completely confidential. But…

I’m scared, Commander.

Commander
What scares you, Lotta?

Lotta

If you should end up hating me someday, I can still hold on to these memories.

I-if I have to leave your side, I can keep these memories of you with me…

You’re a human and I’m a Doll, and a Doll of an ordinary model at that. I don’t have a military-grade frame like Leader Groza and I can’t lead everyone like Big Sis Ullrid. There isn’t much I can do…

So I’m not as valuable to you as the others…

But I’m greedy… Even though I’m not strong, I want to be important in your heart… But that’s wrong…

If I can’t have more of you, then at least, I want to have these memories forever…

(Lotta’s head hangs lower and lower until she’s practically bent double. After looking at her, I reach out and gently pull her into my arms.)

Lotta
Commander?

Commander
Lotta, I’m human.

Lotta
Huh? Why are you saying that? Even I know that. You’re different from us…

Commander
And that is why I will die.

Lotta
–Commander?! No, no you won’t, I won’t let it happen. I might be weak, but I’ll protect you…

Commander
Of course I believe you’ll protect me. But a human lifespan is still limited, you know? We all have about a hundred years at most.

Lotta
Ahhhh–

(And then, for the first time, I see a look of despair, one that does not belong on the cute little face of a girl like her.)

Commander
I’m very grateful that you’re preserving everything like this, but it's okay even if you don’t do it.

Lotta
Commander? I… I don’t understand, no… I don’t want to think about things like that, because a world without you in it is–!

Commander
That’s because I will live on in you, Lotta.

Lotta
...In me? You will? Commander?

Commander

Even videos can only capture my actions, no? But my heart and my existence will remain in your memories.

So I won’t leave you, Lotta. And I don’t think you’re worse than anyone else, so you don’t have to worry about that.

Lotta

Ahh…

Commander… My Commander…

Commander

Still, my voyage will have to end someday. When the time comes, I hope that you will remember me, Lotta. I hope you will remember how I held you to me, like this.

Because it is something that can’t be conveyed by words or video. It is a memory that belongs only to you and me, and only you can preserve this memory forever.

Lotta

Why… This is the first time I’ve felt so happy and so sad at the same time. I think I understand what you’re trying to tell me, Commander…

Yup. I feel the same way too, Commander. If I should no longer be around one day, please remember me… Just like, like how I will remember you and imprint you into the deepest, furthest reaches of my neural cloud. Okay?

Commander
Of course, Lotta. Then let us promise to remember each other forever.